Annihilating the Grammys, with some praise thrown in.
Song of the Year: Fail
Best Country Album: Tswift. Saw that coming, so cute. :)
Beyonce is NOT allowed to sing Alanis. I am not impressed. But her own song is so stupid I guess she had to sing SOMEthing good.
Pink wrapped up in the white hanging from the ceiling reminds me of someone else. Three guesses who. Oh that’s right, Lady Gaga. And now she is most definitely getting people wet. How inconsiderate.
Best New Artist: MGMT should have won that… or Silversun pickups, or at least The Ting Tings. Because who the hell is the Zac Brown Band?
Uhhhhhh. I just lost my shit while the Black Eyed Peas performed. So sorry for that interruption. They did the EPICSONG, sooooooooooo. The Grammys can be over now.
I don’t appreciate this “Lady antebellum” business. If only for that fact that she named herself “lady” which clearly is already taken. Idiot. Also, they don’t seem to be anything out of the ordinary. I saw them on Ellen, and skipped over their performance then as well…
Best Comedy Album: Thank your lucky stars Stephen Colbert won, or I would have served everyone a mouth full.
Record of the Year: BEP, Lady Gaga, Tswift. That’s tough, the winner is: uhhh.. Kings of Leon? Didn’t even consider them, so obviously did not see that one coming. Oh they’re talking about being drunk, how cool and edgy of them. And the long hair? Wow, we all look up to you now.
Robert Downey Jr is the biggest tool ever. Especially in those stupid glasses and goatee.
Now I’m trying to figure out if this Opera thing is a joke, oh. Yep.
Well, Jay Z and Rhianna are liking this song. They would make a cool couple, just sayin’. And yes, blame it on the Alcohol.
I know I’m drunk rite nao.
Uh, anyone else just see that crazy man in the audience?
Here comes “t-pain’ which is interesting since I’ve never seen him. I had no idea what he looked like until now. He’s fatter than expected.
Uh, whoa. But definitely not fatter than that beast who just emerged onto the stage. Now there is some guy in a big top hat on stage, and I feel like in order to be truly cool I should definitely know who that is. ZZtop or some bullshit? I do know he’s a phenomenal guitar player, so I guess that’s all that matters.
LOL, CAIT! Kesha is on stage! So trashed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Best Rock Album: (1st let me point out that Kitty Purry has some jewelry bullshit on her forehead, oh well stilly lovey her) Green Day, respectable. Though U2 is amazing. Hm, interestingly enough I don’t get annoyed when Billy Joe talks about doing shots.
Uh, that bullshit “Zac Brown” band is now singing some sort of tribute to America. Which makes them 10x more bullshitty. Wow, and this bullshit performance is soooooo long. I have a feeling I’m supposed to respect that old man because of the length of his white beard, but I don’t.
Ryan Seacrest? GAHreat, didn’t know we were watching Idol. Me no likey.
Aw, Tswift. I have nothing bad to say about her. She’s such a natural beauty. Lolz, my mom and I just made a date to see her together if she ever comes to town.
Tribute to Michael Jackson, I’m happy about that. He was amazing. Though, I would have liked to see a medley of his songs sung rather than just the one.
Celine is outstanding, her voice is unlike anyother.
Having it in 3D? Uh. Alright grammys, we get it, you’re supa cool.
WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA. Michael would not have approved of his kids going on stage. He kept them under paper bags all their lives. He did NOT want them to be recognized. Holy, they just started talking. I feel so uncomfortable. They have something wrong with them. Ehhhhhhh, can’t look away. So awkward.
I do like Bon Jovi, but after seeing him CLEARLY lip syncing on Ellen I’ve lost a lot of respect. It was almost as if he was too drunk to even attempt to pretend that he wasn’t lip syncing. Oh well, the songs are good.
And derp, of course “Livin’ on a prayer” won. Are you kidding me. Best Bon Jovi song ever.
Best Rap/Sung Collaboration: I approve. LOL@KANYE NOT BEING THERE. He is SO not invited after what happened last time he was at an awards show!!!! hahahahahahaaha, I really really laughed.
I’m really bored of this whole Mary J Blige business. I almost forgot to comment about it, I just want it to end. Though I do like Andrea Bocelli, mostly because my mom really likes him. So, solidarity sista.
Some guy is talking for a really long time… now Adam Sandler is talking, and now the Dave Matthews band will perform. I like them, because “Ants Marching” is a tremendous song. Plus, Matthews sister was killed by her husband in a murder-suicide, so they also get the sympathy vote. This song isn’t too great. Bah. His dancing just made me laugh, so he can be proud of that.
Wut? Ricky Martin is still alive? Also, Glee fucking sucks.
Best Female Vocal Performance: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
You know I really have no idea when I started really disliking this bitch, but I do. She hasn’t done anything good since “Irreplaceable” and Shakira totally outshone her when they did “Beautiful Lair” together, even though Beyonce completely tried her best to one-up her throughout the whole song. Bitch.
Maxwell? Who are these ppls?! I don’t enjoy this genre of music very much. This whole “smooth jazz” type business. No thanks. Wow, once again WAY too long.
We now bring you a montage of dead people no one really wants to watch. Oh, Les Paul.
Oh Lady Gaga in her outfit, how I love her. I’ll just think about her while this boring person rambles on—— Katy Perry needs to date people who understand buttons.
I wasn’t paying attention so I don’t know who this girl is with the swirl atop her head. Good thing I don’t really care, because she really isn’t at all that interesting. At all.. Wow, the Grammys had a lot of wishy washy bullshit performances this year.
Oh Tarantino, whom my mother just expressed quite a fierce hatred for… but I likey his movies. Hahahahahahaha, he’s being rather comical.
Oh EM! My childhood sweetheart! Plus Travis Barker on the drums, and some black guy whom I feel like I should recognize is rapping! Oh, thankfully his shirt says “Lil Wayne” that cleared up all of my confusion. I sincerely appreciate that. I don’t appreciate the silence instead of music, he must be pretty explicit. Op, here is Eminem. Bad ass. He would be wearing a beanie, I’m so happy he’s white. Oh, now some black guy is singing a song that I rather enjoy, but I don’t know what it is.
Last name: Ever
First name: Greatest.
This is genius, I must know more.
Haha, Tswift likes it toos.
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha the shirt says “Listen to Lil Wayne.” I want that shirt. I think it would mean a lot coming from me. Obviously I have a lot to say, and many important opinions.
Album of the Year: (Thankfully since my battery is about to die) Mayyyyybe GAGA???!?! Nope!, Tswift, Okay I super like that too. She deserves it the most anyway. She writes all her own music, and I enjoyed every single song on that album. Oh, Gaga looks pissed in the audience there. Oh well!
That’s the end. If you read this entire thing, I feel bad for all the time you wasted, I know I feel bad for all the time I wasted writing it.
